


Shit let's bake a pie

by forgetful01



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Red Romance, i guess, redrom, shitty headcanons galore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-02
Updated: 2014-01-02
Packaged: 2018-01-07 05:26:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1116053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forgetful01/pseuds/forgetful01
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>naagloshii answered your question:i need to write some gamdave stuff this is a…<br/>do somethign cute</p>
<p>I LITERALLY CANNOT WRITE CUTE THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS, IT'S EITHER PORN OR ANGST AND THERE IS NO INBETWEEN<br/>uh yeah so gamzee and dave try to make pies????? how overdone is that??????? idfk<br/>tags for pointless details that i thought were cute and funny and lots of stupid headcanons that will probably earn me a place in fanfiction infamy </p>
<p>alternative title: i cant make good titles</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shit let's bake a pie

How the ever loving fuck Gamzee managed to rope you into this one, you had no fucking clue. This was way beyond the boundary of irony, borderline Betty Crocker antics of historical quality. But you had to admit, when Gamzee wasn't threatening you, he was a chill guy to hang around. Since the trolls usual substance was nowhere to be found and fuck if you'd ever eat a pie with even a hint of sopor on it, you settled for apple. 'Murrica's favorite pie and what not.

Speaking of the troll, there was now, carrying a bushel of apples over his shoulder and set them down on the counter and began peeling. You had to remind him not to use his claws because that's fucking gross and he has a bad habit of never washing his hands no matter how many times you remind him. He always waves it off with some bullshit excuse and you literally have to hold his hands under the running water and supervise like he's a two year old. It's even worse when you have to shove him in the shower and force him to wash himself. Fucking gross ass juggalo but damn look at that ass. Oh right, he doesn't have one.

Gamzee was saying something as he focused on peeling the apples with a knife, and you barely caught what it was before he snorted and laughed at his own joke. What an idiot. You couldn't help but give a small half smile from the corner of your mouth as you began chopping up his extremely unevenly peeled apples into smaller dices. Every so often you had to smack his hand away when he reached for a chunk but the troll was stubborn so eventually you gave in. Damn him for being so frustratingly (and strangely) attractive. 

After a quick round of "who can fit the most apple slices in their mouths without choking and dying on the kitchen floor" you popped those bad boys into the oven and sat yourself on the counter. Gamzee sat himself in front of the oven to watch the pies bake. Even though you told him it would be at least an hour before they were done. He ignored you and pressed his hands up against the door of the oven and nearly burned himself. A quick run to the bathroom for a bandage or two and he was back in his designated spot, hands firmly planted under his nonexistent rump for safe keeping as if the things would grow legs and crawl into the damn oven themselves. 

Finally you managed to drag him away from the pies to give them some damn privacy with a bribe of video games. He sucked at them worse than you did, and you had to keep extra controllers on standby just for the fact that he tore them up with his raptor claws faster than you had a chance to really buy them. Maybe you'll start making him play with gloves one of these days.

The two of you were so immersed in the game you didn't notice quite a fair bit of time had passed and he suddenly paused, earning him a scowl from you, before he sniffed at the air and made a face.

"Bro, is somethin' fucking burning?"

"Fucking shit, that's the third pie today."


End file.
